This time last year... 15/05/2006 seems a distant memory

This time last year I was saying my goodbyes, packing my things and excited about my "new life" in Korea. I can't believe how fast the last 12 months have gone by..

I left the UK on a grim Monday in May and the same Monday this year its actually quite pleasant out. That pretty much fits my moods for both really; the UK at the moment does seem quite nice, a few clouds in the sky and its a bit cold, but all in all its looking ok. Last year I really was full of clouds and the UK offered me nothing. Strange how a year and the weather can make you reflect on things.

The horizon for the future feels brighter than it did last year, and although I'm probably still not happy about being in the UK (because of the system more than the place itself) I'm a little happier with myself. This blog helps me get some things off my chest at least...

Maybe when the Tories get in they can start to repair some of the damage Tony Blair and his bunch of fuck puppets have done, but I doubt it. This country needs a lot but a housing market collapse would be a start. Maybe then we can start supporting those in society that actually pay their taxes, don't fiddle the system and just drain our resources with no intentions of bettering themselves... anyway, before I start, I'm happier than I was this time last year..

Oh, and fuck L Ron Hubbard and Scientology... they can eat shit and die and I will post on this later...

Natasha Bedingfield, you fucking horse faced bitch..

Nothing makes my piss boil more than people wanking off over how cute/great/amazing babies are. Get over it, children aren't special.. Bill Hicks tried to tell the world that and he saw his numbers dwindle, but I'm afraid its true..

Anyway, I was recently subjected to one of the worst things my eyes and ears have ever been subjected to, so bad i wanted to get a soldering iron and burn out my eyeballs, then squirt superglue in my earholes so I would never have to go through it again.

I once thought and hoped that karma had caught up with the Bedingfield household for crimes against humanity by subjected the world to its torturous overtones when Daniel Bedingfield was involved in a quite serious car accident, but unfortunately for Mother Earth, he managed to recover. His torment thereafter has been limited, but his accident paved the way for the torture that is his horse faced sister, Natasha. Knowing how much I fucking hate horses, she was someone I was always destined to hate, and far from a refreshing change to the music industry.

Amy had seen her new video and had to subject me to it, for the kicks of my facial expressions undoubtedly, but I almost couldn't believe it. The gates of Hell had opened and the visual feast of Satans bowels were pouring out with sounds to boot.

Seriously.. the song is called something like "I want to have your babies" and the premise is old Horseface goes around dating men, but secretly she just wants a kid. She probably found the lyrics written on the back of a rizla on the bus on her way to cash her giro, they certainly hit home to what most 15 year old chavettes are thinking. She goes with numerous guys all run like men, but eventually finds some metaphorical eunuch who does want a baby with her. The end involves probably one of the worst things I've ever heard, with her rap talking and describing the babies shes seeing in her head. How that got into the album track Ill never know, maybe it was added just for the video in the name of "artist licensing", who knows/cares.. it makes me wish I had the Ebola virus.

I wish I had an advanced TiVo for this shit, something that could detect the first few frames of shitty music videos and put them on block. It wouldn't even be hard to do. My version would say something like:


The following "music" video has been blocked:

Natasha Beddingfield - I want to have your babies

Under the Crimes Against Music Act 2007. If you do want to listen to this atrocity, enter "666" on your remote now.

Super Mega TiVo - making the World better by blocking the things that suck, one turd at a time.

So if you're feeling like puking so hard your intestines feel like theyre on the way out then jump across to YouTube and watch the video... it might be good for a couple of days of work with a bad back if you retch hard enough (Im sure you will)..

Email Joke of the Week

A man came home from work, sat down in his favourite chair, turned on the TV, and said to his wife, "Quick, bring me a beer before it starts."

She looked a little puzzled, but brought him a beer. When he finished it, he said, "Quick, bring me another beer. It's going to start."

This time she looked a little angry, but brought him a beer. When it was gone, he said, "Quick, another beer before it starts."

"That's it!" She blows her top, "You bastard! You waltz in here, flop your fat arse down, don't even say hello to me and then expect me to runaround like your slave. Don't you realize that I cook and clean and wash and iron all day long?"

The husband sighed. "Damn, it's started."

I get lots of crap emails... this has been "the best" this week... rather than pollute your email account, ill just pollute my blog...

My Site Stats... popular? Not so much...

A Blog by Dave - I get bored and angry (s36delmorpha)

-- Site Summary ---
Visits Total .......................... 236
Average per Day ................. 13
Average Visit Length .......... 2:36
This Week ....................... 89
Page Views Total .......................... 381
Average per Day ................. 20
Average per Visit .............. 1.6
This Week ...................... 139

I've been tracking the stats of my blog recently, out of interest/hope of becoming more popular as Yahoo had a visitors count but Blogger doesn't, but my SiteMeter addon is great. It lets me know how random people landed on my blog and who visits regularly by location.

My blog is getting more popular thanks to Googles indexing, but I wouldn't say I currently have a massive audience. What has been interesting is seeing new peoples first visit, then to find they are returning, and thats great news!

Some other interesting things are the searches I'm found through. A lot of people steal the Pokemon picture in my 10 games article. It would seem quite a few people are interested in Sonic the Hedgehog having sex with Tails. it would also appear that there is actually an event called "Gizzfest" and my blog is number one for that search term. Happy Days!

In any case, for those of you who read my blog regularly cheers, you keep reading and Ill keep writing. For those of you new to my blog and find yourself returning, thank you too. I have quite a few new things to get off my chest this month, which will start over the weekend with an article I will be calling "I hate Natasha Beddingfield"...

Peace out!

This is Living featuring beardy twat...

I don't know this guy, I've never met this guy in my life but he is a twat. Look at him, with his beard and his "This is Living" Sony fanboy T-Shirt. Twat.

I'm told he is 22.. so why does he have a beard?

He is a bell ringer. He goes pot holing. He probably is a member of a Christian Youth Association and runs some sort of swimming club for young boys with innocent intentions under the name of Christianity. Probably..

Well, anyway, couple the beard and the Sony fanboyism, I had to blog this twat. Twat.

Oh, and look... I'm blogging at work... lol... good start Dave, good start..

All Work and No Blog makes Dave a dull Boy..

Well, I've started my new job and I'm doubting I'm going to be as flexible to do my blog as I was in previous positions by hey hoe, these things happen! This isn't to say that its the end of my blogging, far from it, it just means I will be restricted to blogging in the evenings and the weekends that I'm not working.

Thus far the new job is going pretty well, it's most definitely a job in IT and a "job" job... unlike some of my previous positions that I had a bit more freedom as it were. Read into that what you will but the jobs great, the moneys great, and the prospects are great so I'm happy. Who knows, this may be a job I can last longer than 12 months in...

Thats not to say I've never had a long term job, I mean I was at Janda for more than 4 years *shudders* but more recently I've had more in and outs that I'd care to remember when it comes to jobs. If you add up the total employment length per employer its actually not so bad, but on paper my CV is a little fragmented. I'm just hoping with the promises of MS certification and the quality of the companies we do business for, and the enjoyment of the job, this will be something I will be doing in 12 months time.

Anyway, I just thought I'd keep people updated, and my blog on the "updated often" trawl of Google. There are a few things I havent had chance to comment on yet (Nintendo, you're lucky...) but I will do once I get settled.

Founder of Pandora drops in and says hi! Hi Tim!! :)

To my shock/disbelief, the founder of Pandora has left a comment about my post of the Death of Pandora. For those too lazy to click the comments section, here it is:

Thanks for posting on this, Dave. I think it's important for folks to understand that far from 'jumping in to bed' with anyone, we've made this decision in order not to. In the UK we're working on a statutory agreement that will allow us to remain as neutral as we have always been. Pandora never has, and NEVER will, play a song because we've been paid to do it. NEVER.

So very sorry about this. Any webcaster around the world, no matter where they stream 'from', requires direct licenses for EVERY rightsholder, for EVERY song, for EVERY country in which it is streamed. That's the climate in which the kind of fear you have is more likely to come true. Direct deals can have all sorts of strings attached.

We'll keep working as hard as we can to find a solution.

Tim (Founder)

What a hero! How many web founders are dedicated enough to clear up a few things about their websites new decisions, no matter how small the reader base (although Google seems to be picking me up a bit better and my hits are going up daily, those of you who read my blog regularly will always be the hardcore!) and actively seek out anyone commenting on it!

In response to his comments I say this.. great to hear that your not allowing yourselves to get too shafted by the RIAA and anyone associated with their digital "War of Terror" and good luck trying to get a solution suitable for everyone.

Its also good to hear from the horses mouth that you don't contaminate the mix with financial gains in mind. To be honest, I'm sure it would be very tempting with the more commercial artists to set up a reciprocal pay per play deal (like broadcasting radio stations) but thankfully my taste in music is far from commercial and thats one of the things I love about your site (that I don't have to listen to shite).

Hopefully you will do whats right for everyone, not just for the US. In a week where we've seen you guys and Microsoft shutting your digital doors to to world in one form or another, your reassurance goes a little way to restoring my faith that there is going to continue to be a world outside the US.

You have the formula so, so right.. it turns out that Last.FM was just a cheap fling, so it would be a shame to lose you. Although my Biffy Clyro radio station was far better with Last.FM (only because Biffy are a small band from Scotland and they're similar artists can only be found on smaller independent labels), as a whole it just isn't the same. There is no way to tell Last.FM of other bands you want it to mix in, you can't go back to artists you've listened to easily, whether that be to say you loved/hated it or to perhaps buy it, and the interface just isn't friendly at all.

On a personal note to Tim, welcome to my blog and hope you come back soon! If you keep up the good work, i'll keep recommending you to my friends and associates. Oh, and if you ever need an angry Software Engineer willing to travel the globe, with an opinion on everything whose a big fan of music, digital rights and wrongs, and sticking it to the RIAA just give me a call... I need an excuse to get out the UK and would love to come work for you! ;)

Site of the Week - Life after Pandora.com : Last.FM

I am a whore. Only hours after Pandora left me I'm already "in bed" with her hotter British second cousin Last.FM and from what I can tell she does all the things Pandora didn't let you do.. she even lets you share her goodies with your friends!

With a sexier, more streamlined interface, and thus far less Americanised music choices, Last.FM is filling the stop gap whilst Pandora gets its fuck on with the RIAA and she comes back a beaten and abused version of herself.

I didn't want my relationship with Pandora to end, but somehow it has.. her abusive Uncle has come home stomping his feet at her being too cheap, too fancy free with her content and she needs to "Shape Up or he will kill her". I'm not into the needy type, and Pandora will come crawling back and be needier than ever, so our relationship is most definitely over.

So Last.FM gets my vote as Site of the Week... if only because she was there for me the day I broke up with Pandora..

A Net full of Walls - RIP Pandora, gone but not forgotten..

Pandora got me back into listening to new music in a big way and today is a very, very sad day for me. Not in the sense that I personally won't be able to use Pandora (after all I am a nerd and know what a proxy server is) but in the sense that the internet has lost something very special... like when Napster got shut down, the first really mainstream file transferring software, and the bovine masses were stumped as to where to find their illegally downloaded music from.

Today, Pandora.com officially closed its servers to IP addresses outside of the US. Previously a simple Google for "zip code" would bypass the US check but now, due to increasing pressure from the RIAA and increases in running costs associated with that pressure, they have implemented IP filtering to direct regionalised content. This means more revenue for the RIAA and publishers (like the artists benefit one bit...), more work for Pandora for less money and a bit "Fuck You" to anyone outside the US until they get the advertising/content manipulation right for your country.

This is also the first time I've thought about how easy the Pandora algorithm would be to seriously manipulate by the RIAA, or a significant sponsor now that they have buckled into the pressure and lubed themselves up. Pandora already do it somewhat by trying to integrate bands that are currently touring into your music; if you click "Now Touring" and buy a concert ticket, you help support Pandora and the system works. Imagine what we are install for when EMI or one of the big labels put enough pressure on.

What you'll end up with is deals where if you say your favourite band is signed to Sonys Columbia record label, Pandora will be contracted to filter in another 3 songs signed to Columbia in the next hour or so. Thus increasing the chance you'll buy a CD off their label, thus making them more money. Add that to the increased fees associated with an Internet radio station and you can see the only winner here is the "Industry" i.e. the Man, not the artists, and certainly not the end users.

I've found some great new bands listening to Pandora, bands whose CDs I'd actually buy too. I heard an artist I actually thought was Ben, thumbs upped the great, thumbs down the shite and been actively involved in using it. Admittedly I'm probably the kind of user they don't want using their service (as my Firefox browser has a lot of Ad blocking software) but the service was great, and one that I've spread to friends and family. Funny how in an age of global connectivity, word of mouth is still one of the best advertising methods.

Unlike Pandora, I had moved on from using Napster when it got shut down, and was already well into the realms of Kazaa and eDonkey as my file sharing application of choice. Today is a very sad day for the internet (in what has been a sad week for digital rights and wrongs - Google "HD DVD encryption key" fiasco if you don't already know) as Pandora really doesn't have anything like it, let alone better and easier to use.

I genuinely wish in all the hours of listening, I had set up one of the programs to rip out the MP3s it plays and stored them myself, but even with that the mixing wouldn't be the same...Winamp still has a laughable random() function and iTunes is horrid, horrid bloatware!


Pandora, you were my first internet radio love... I am heart broken that you've jumped into bed with someone else, and of all people, with my arch enemy, the RIAA and its whole board of members, you filthy slut! I'm going to try and climb your internet (drain) pipes and trick you into taking me back, but your disloyalty has jaded our relationship and shown me your true colours. It looks like I'm back to shuffling it myself, but thank you for being my first... x

City Link...more like fucking Shitty Stink...

What a bunch of friggin' retards City Link are... I mean how hard is it to deliver a parcel these days with the likes of Satellite Navigation, Google Earth and every other advantage we have to see the exact locations of places on the planet.

3 attempts at delivering to a place where the post code has only one possible destination and they managed not to be able to find it. My parcel even had my office direct line AND my mobile phone number on and the driver was unable to think to call if he was struggling.

My automatic transmission kit for the FTO was supposed to arrive with me on Thursday but by 5pm I was getting a little worried. I gave Camskill an email and they responded right away with a tracking code. Apparently the driver had attempted delivery at 3pm and we had been carded to let us know they had done so. Had they fuck... our site has one entrance and in an open plan car park we have 2 buildings that are open throughout the day. Nothing whatsoever...

Friday am I gave City Link a call to find out where the fuck things were.. the woman assured me that the driver had our location, knew where he was going and she had logged the name of our company to relay this to the driver to ensure he knew where to go this time. By 3pm we had no sign of any Yellow and Green vans.

So I called again... yet again the woman told me that the driver was still out for delivery and they knew where they were going. She reread my address and details and everything sounded ok. By 5pm I was pissed, still nothing. At 5:10pm their online tracking system had updated to let me know they had failed delivery again, this time at 2:37pm and once again we had been carded. Once again we hadn't.

I was steaming and immediately called them to give them a piece of my mind; that they were an inept bunch of monkeys with the same amount of common sense as a retarded squirrel. The woman was dumbfounded so she passed me across to some Northern driver who told me "ee, tut drivers durt av sat navs" and after decifering that, I told them to hold on to it and I would have to try and collect it on Saturday which was a 40 mile round trip to boot.

We landed at 11ish on Saturday at the Preston depo and to rub salt into the wound the young ginger prick behind the counter had put it out for delivery himself, even though I explicitly told them not to. I looked at him and just shook my head, I mean what else can you do when you're dealing with a company who can't do their job AND can't follow instructions. He got on the phone and rang the driver, who would be back at the depo shortly so I was asked to wait 20 minutes in my car until then. So I did to let the rage calm down.

I gave them half an hour and went back in and ginger bollocks had my parcel waiting for me fortunately for him. The box was pretty battered and I had to laugh when I saw a big sticker on it saying "Hold in cage - Customer to collect Saturday AM" - being able to read can be added to the list of things City Link are incapable of. Fortunately for me everything was ok and inside the box, largely thanks to the excellent wrapping by Camskill.

And thats a wrap... the next time you order something to be delivered, try and avoid City Link... they're a pride of dongs*!

* I don't know the collective noun for a group of penii but I'm sure knowing men, it would be a pride...